A heartbeat goes up and down

TB is the more cautious one. He keeps his excitement in check so he doesn’t have the big crash of disappointment. I keep my emotions on my sleeves- big swings with the highs and big drops with the lows.

Today was one of those days.

The maybe baby is the size of a blueberry and today we got our first peek.

First results. The up. We have a heartbeat. Fluttering away per the K’s. Heartbeat was 134. That was good and the growth and development was good as well.

Then there was the down. A small subchorionic hemorrhage. Now putting small in front of that just makes me laugh…small blah blah something horrible sounding.

Down the roller coaster I went and straight to google. For once google relaxed me a little bit…it wasn’t has scary as it sounded.

Then we waited to hear back from the fertility clinic, because 7 weeks is early for an ultrasound in the normal pregnancy world and maybe they had other insights.

I have to say when the email came back and the clinic said this is actually pretty common my roller coaster settled down a bit.

Now we wait. 10 more days. Jan 13 for the next ultrasound.

We wait for another win.

We wait for this to be moved over to the normal pregnancy category.

We wait for MK to be able to exercise again.

We wait for MK to stop having to take all the meds helping maybe baby along.

We wait until it feels safer.

We wait until we can go from maybe baby to baby B.


We are getting an amazing gift. No one ever said it would be easy, nothing worth anything usually is.

So we wait. We practice patience. We let maybe baby settle in for hopefully the long haul.


1 Comment on A heartbeat goes up and down

  1. Barb says:

    I rode that roller coaster just reading this post! I love sharing this in a (very) small way and I’m so praying for your maybe baby 🙂

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